My last words

Hello Friends,

I just wanted to share with you what might be my last words.

Thank you for your support.

PS.
I will be blogging more this week.. but just in case.

Random Thoughts and a SPOILER ALERT!

It's been another few days since I've blogged.

Here's what's changed:

My assortment of random things I've eaten has increased...
So has my weight.

I feel like I live here but am a minority (Sorta like asians in provo... sorry, full asians, no halfies)

I think I've mistakened a girl for a guy and a guy for a girl, and I've seen a guy as a girl, and a girl as a guy.

I want to go home, but not to Utah. (I wish I lived somewhere else)

I can't carry a tune to save poor orphaned children if I wanted to.

My Cambodian is now as good as folks who call in lookin' for them hazel eyes with no medicin'

I'm darker BUT! i found lotion that whitens! YES, it's designed especially for Asian people, i'll bring all you non-darkies like me back some. Soon enough i'll finally fit in Utah.

I realized i don't recall a single thing about contacts and working there. Meaning... I think I've been away for a while. I even forgot that i've been wearing my contacts for a few weeks!

Coming back i'll be more family oriented *(haha, that's a pun, i'm more "orient"ed because my sister-in-law and nephew are comin back with us... rararar

I know nothing about love and romance. Nothing useful. (ask me if you want what I mean... curse that girl.)

I'm very poor.

I'll leave here with regrets
...regrets as in some worm or something... (duck tongue isn't the most tantalizing meal, but goat is!)

I have more facial hair, ahem... sprouts and oreo crumbs on my face

My muscle is more... how do you say.. non-existent...

My friend count has increased.

I really can't sing. Why didn't anyone tell me!!!

My debut cd will sell more than Ashley Simpsons' and Kevin Federline's did. Speaking of, I'm selling mine for -1.00$ each, yes. I will pay you to buy one.

Being away from the net has not weened me from my web addiction.

I miss my mission.

I realized Elders are goofs no matter where you meet them.

Two least favorite things: Old men who pry on younger, yet LEGAL aged girls, and guys whose shoulders are way too broad for them to be broads... AND PLEASE, cut back on the foundation dude!

I enjoy fine dining that is provided by wonderful family. YUMMY TUM YUM in my TUMMY.

My nephew is cuter.

And this blog is random.

So I return home soon friends... however, there's been a change of plans. I might not be coming home when I thought I would.

Anyhow, i'll save that for my next post
UNTIL NEXT TIME...!
Lia.

The Heavenly Foods

The other day while relaxing at my uncle's house we caught a show on the discovery channel about China's culinary history. There are four foods designated as heavenly foods of china originally meant for the emperors partaking. They are: Abalone, bird's next, sea cucumber, and shark fin. Many of these items are high price, abalone can reach up to 200 dollars for high class plates and sharks fin is a rare commodity. While me and my uncle were watchin this I thought to myself. "Boy I hope I can have these someoday"

Thank Buddha for my wonderful sister-in-law.

Last night we get a call that we're being treated to dinner at a chinese restaurant. i'm thinking, yes, finally something besides what i've been eating all day (cambodian food is different than chinese) as we arrive to the front desk, i see pictures of abalone, shark fin and sea cucumber. We are led to a VIP room and then I listen to what my sister in law orders. Shark fin soup... sea cucumber... fresh expensive fish and prawns... I ATE SO MUCH! The food just kept coming.. and coming.. and i kept eating.. i truly felt like a king...

Next stop...
Lobster and KFC pepsi!

And the last picture

This picture is from a part of the 3 year ceremony for my great grandpa's passing. He is the one bowing before the monks who shortly after began chanting and offering blessings. It's about 90 plus degress in the house and my legs cramped up.

Second Picture

The second picture is what I call the Ent tree, one of many that are in the Brasaat Ta Prom. There are so many of these huge ginanormous trees overgrowing the temple ruins!

My favorite one has been cut down to preserve the temple, but this one is noteworthy because if you look closely, the other bark has overtaken then inner portion which is old and decayi

Some pictures for your enjoyment

... I know ya'll wanted some pictures (Amy) so aside from my flickr, I decided to post my favorites recently.
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I love my nephew, he is so cute! This is just after he woke up and saw me, his favorite uncle!

What do I look like: a Q&A

I've just returned from worship services at the local Mormon hang out and it was awesome! I was very nervous, especially considering how my cambodian has been terrible. I'm speaking like I have gaged my bottom lip and I keep stopping and clicking xobile!. Any way I was sitting in the meeting, and might I tell you a certain young lady caught me eye, (it was right after I threw it at her) haha. I jest. But during our introductions in Sunday school (both male and female) and priesthood (class for the men) no one thought I was Cambodian. I don't know if it's my huge frame, which is now just literally a frame without the huge, my nasty foreign feet (I agree with you Tracee, feet are funky) or perhaps my long shaggy hair or sexiness but here are the nationalities I've gotten:

Phillipino: AYO AYO!
Mexican: Que?
Hawaiian: Aloha, not too bad eh? Yes I speak many languages
Japanese: Seriously... do I look anything like Hiro? I know I had a white shirt on and usually carry a camera and wear a baseball cap but that's where the stereotypes stop.

and my favorite
Cambodian (Native) - yes, some think I am from here. Maybe it's my really dark skin. My huge nose, my thick, succulent lips. I don't know. But people think I am a native, sorta makes me proud but then I just realize I haven't done my hair, shaved or showered for a day... yes a day and I feel nasty. Have you ever been in an ice cream food fight? (I know you have Amy) I feel like that 100% of the day if you don't shower... ick. I went to church and saw a nice Cambodian lass from Provo (yes, they exist!) and i realized, I smell like this country. A combination of fish, dirt, lotus flowers and whatever I just ate. It doesn't smell, it's just bland. Trust me.

So what do I look like friends? Feel free to comment, especially all you fine ladies out there. :P (BTW, FYI, I have low self-esteem and take criticisms very terribly, so feel free to boost my confidence as I fish for them. haha jk!)

Anyhow, just returned from some authentic pizza, authentic what I don't know, but I think I might go get in touch with my Korean/Japanese side and bust out some Karaoke. Until then. PEACE!

What Matters Most

(This is an old blog I never posted, enjoy)

 

So it's been a few days since I've blogged and I do apologize for those faithful readers (all three of you) nevertheless there is a lot that has happened since I've last written. I'll begin with the thoughts that are on my mind at this time.

So we went to Kompong Saom (also known as Sihanoukville) the beach resort city( this was before we came back to the club experience!). Once again the ride was phenemonal. I think I am getting used to long car rides. Going to lake powell so often helps me on many occasions ride for long durations but when you do it over and over again and then you further that by fearing for your life in a country with no traffic laws and many, many close calls it tires you out. So anyhow, we get to the beach and it's yet another tiresome affair with those we travel with. Family is family (what does that mean?) but you can only do so much until you go crazy as was the case with the car ride. But I must say the beach was beautiful, the sand pristine and the tourist many. We arrived at our hotel and did the usual; eat. There are more barang (*Cambodian for French, but used to denote any white folks) Well there are tons of them and few of us. It's funny when you feel like a minority in a place where you are the majority, but as is the case for me in Mormon Utah so I shouldn't feel any less. WE get settled in and then we go riding. We rent a couple of bikes (motorcycles) and boy is it fun, riding along the beach, basking in the sun, getting darker and darker so great! But aside from all the wonderful weather and the fun sunny times I spent most of my trip there not at the beach ( I have a third degree burn which is now looking pretty bad and infected) but in the hotel room with my nephew. I know I've gone off on how amazing he is, but a few times during our stay there I would just lay beside him, tapping his side to help him fall asleep and other times just playing with him and laughing and goofing off to make him smile. Coming on this trip I realized I'd come to many conclusions about where my life is really headed and the things I have which are valuable. Most important is of course, my family and what the future holds in starting my own. I realize now that the love you (here comes the sap from the lim) you have with your family and the closeness is something that really be matched until you're put in a situation where you are the primary caregiver. Spending all this time with my nephew and seeing the indescribable love my mother and father have for their grandson makes me feel the same gratitude and desires to raise a family with care and with goals. Even amidst the usual family bickering I am so eternally grateful and indebted to the family I've been given, although we are dysfunctional as most, if not so. And we have our vices and our strange foibles, who I am is directly tied to where I come from and I'm proud of it and the perspective it provides.

 

At this time I'm in Siem Riep for a quick trip to the Angkor Temple ruins. If you're not very familiar with these temples, it's the largest religious complex in the world, yes even bigger than temple square. We're only here for a short time, about 2 days, but it's time well spent. Something about seeing, touching, and learning about these ruins which date back to the 4^th Century CE make me proud of my heritage and also aware of the encroachment by the outside world on such a pristine place. We climbed up a mountain to reach one temple fortress called Phnom Bakeng and the view from the top across the tree line and clouds was so surreal. It was like someone took god's easel and painted a slew of scenes for my personal enjoyment. Even thought I sweat like a horse (do horses sweat?) I've finally grown acclimated to the climate and just am soaking up the life. I'm tired right now, as it's about midnight and tomorrow we'll go to the King's playground, the land of 1000 lingas ( if you're wondering what lingas are, it's the royal term for the kings, ahem you know…. But there is a waterfall (of which I can't swim to now that my leg is messed up) and just tons of cool things.

 

The other day we went to the killing fields. As often as I've been to Cambodia, this is one place I haven't been. The killing fields are what the name states, a place where prisoners and Cambodians during the khmer rouge communist takeover, mass executive in the same aggressiveness as the concentration camps in Europe. It was a humbling experience to see massive holes in the ground grown over with grass that was once the site of mass graves. Now in the center of this somber place is a pagoda, filled with the skulls of those who were buried there. I would explain more about the atttroicties, the things these hideous people did to their fellow countrymen, but the mere thought, the mere remembrance scares me and breaks my heart. If you want fear, the evil that men do is beyond any conception of horror Hollywood can come up with. The realities of war are so apparent here that it has almost numbed me to whatever ills I encounter in my privileged life.

 

We head out to Battabang soon to do our religious ceremonies. I really hope I can post this blog soon as I've come to miss many of you back home. I'm sure life continues on for you all as normal and my travels are but a moment and event that is just a blip on your mind, but know I carry with me thoughts and prayers about many who I long to see and hear laugh. I'm learning a lot of my life and myself and I hope that the experiences I have here will only further strengthen me and make me a better person than I am. Until next time. Adieu

 

Barefoot, Barebones and Starving

Hopefully that title explains my upcoming rant. I finally am able to just sit and blog on a fast connection! yippee!

So right to the thoughts on my mind.

I'm still sick. I've lost quite a bit of weight and muscle (argh! Nano Vapor, Gluc, HGH, here i come!) not that I had much to begin, but let's say my 4 months of hard work wasted away in about 2 weeks. Oh well, I was getting to prideful with my bulging glutes. For those who don't know what that is, I was talking about my butt. Yes, my maximus of the the gluteus. haha. Just playin.

So I am back in el capital of Cambodia and it's been raining day and night. It's crazy because the streets flood without adequate drainage and the water is brown... because of mud. While we were shopping in the crowded and congested shops of 98 degrees, not the band but the temperature, the rain came down so fast and I have never seen so many asians scuttle to cover up their trinkets and items, it was like chinese oompa loompas doopadee doopadooing.

I came to the conclusion I like music, I like dancing, asians love to gamble and drink Heineken and coolers, but I hate dirty old men who prey on young girls, and I hate drinking, rather being forced.

So we went to the club last night (*god bless you usher) and it's not like regular clubs, these are all out, you can sit, look at the dance floor from your VIP seat and take in a show or watch them girls go go go! I've been sick for the last two days and attended, trying my best to not be a dull one and have another bar fight experience. But wow, that quickly changed, there was a mix of french, urban, cambodian music all into one, never can one experience the joys of the Madison (cambodian line dancing) Polka and the waltz (made me think of you Amy) in one setting. But as funny as that was, across from me in another booth was a subtle reminder of what ills the world has.

Time for serious voice:
In southeast asia there is a serious problem of human trafficking, selling young girls to men for prostitution and also the proliferation of that abomination in general. All throughout asia there are those who will take young girls under the pretense of work in factories when in reality they sell them out. Trafficking also refers to men and forced labor. Here is a blurb from a very informative site http://www.humantrafficking.org/countries/cambodia

"Cambodian men, women, and children are trafficked for sexual and labor exploitation in Thailand, Malaysia, Macao, and Taiwan.² Men are trafficked for forced labor in the agriculture, fishing, and construction industries. Women are trafficked for sexual exploitation and forced labor in factories or as domestic servants.³ Children are trafficked for sexual exploitation and forced labor in organized begging rings, soliciting, street vending, and flower selling. The Ministry of Social Affairs and Youth Rehabilitations found that 76 percent of trafficked persons returned from Thailand had come from families who owned land, 93 percent owned their own house and had no debt on the land or house, and 47 percent stated that their mother was the facilitator of their trafficking"

Often, overseas men will also come to this region for the unfortunate reason that they can find young girls, not always children but still much younger, who will "escort " them. Already the culture has fostered a european open-mindedness about the entertainment and culture of the west. You can go to clubs, pay 5 bucks for a good looking girl to just dance and keep you company. Then there are actual brothels. What irks me the most is that many men come here and the young cambodian girls (keep in mind many are still "old enough") will keep these pathetic losers company. At the club last night I saw a Pat Morita/ Mr Miyagi look-a-like with about 8 girls, and he was old enough to be their grandfather. He was all over one girl and she just let him grope her. I've already had my temper tested but when a woman's perceived rights, whether they give them up or not are violated I get angry and I was filled with disgust and even more desire to change things, but how I don't know. You find kids here whose parents basically pimp them to beg for money, food. We went to KFC (yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken... finger lickin' good) and a mother made her child stand outside the window, looking poor and dejected so they can beg for food.
I'm not trying to seem heartless but begging and soliciting your children to and family on the hopes of someone's pity is despicable. And although the government has work, shelters for these people, they instead have more children and push them to rummage through garbage dumbs for scraps, sell off themselves and live in the endless cycle of poverty. It breaks my heart, but I'm helpless in the state I am now. If you want more information, here is a great site my friends have volunteered for http://cambodianchildrensfund.org/

I hope that after I finish my teaching licensure and ESL minor I can come for a summer or maybe a year and just volunteer to teach English at an orphanage and volunteer to help.

Anyhow, sorry about that rant, it's just frustrating seeing that countless times here. When I was in the beach town of Kompong Saom, I looked out our top story hotel to a place next door and saw two caucasians with a young cambodian girl, they talked and talked and i think the girl was about 17 or 18... dressed to "impress". Today, while waking barefoot in the sun, a man about 40 was holding hands with a young cambodian girl about 18 years or younger. You see it everywhere and nothing can change it except education. Hope.

Well that's pretty much all the time I had, I was going to post pics but the connection is dying and i just got an important e-mail I need to read. I hope all is well back home. I miss you. (you know who you are )
Until next blog
Lia Hi

Some time for an update

Okay, I now have some time to finally update things.

I will start with Siem Riep. This is the city where all those ruins are. I've been here twice so it's pretty fun but you can only see the ruins so many times. So this time around I wanted to make sure my experiences were new and refreshing and boy were they! First we went to Phnom Khulen (Phnom means mountain) so yes, we went to a mountain. But this place was many centuries ago the King's playground, there is a river call the River of 1000 lingas (lingas is a symbolic representation of the god siva, i think and it's basically a phallic symbol) there are a bunch of these round rock formations actually carved on the rock bed beneath the river. There is also a formation, a big rock one which is about 100 feet plus above that has a buddha carved in it, as well as other carvings and caves, it's fun, although i'm really tired of giving offerings of incense that require me to kneel too often, it's doing wonders on my leg that is wrapped up. As we came down from that buddha relic the rain started to fall, and by fall, pour, but i was determined to play in the waterfall and take pictures. Eventhough my leg has a huge open wound, i would climb boulders to get a good shot, and boy was it worth it. When my net is better you'll all be priveleged to see some awesome pics.

So here is some information you don't need. When you have only one pair of clothes to wear, the last thing you want to do is get in dirty murky water... and I am reeping the so called benefit of it.

Another great experience, traveling from Siem Riep to Battambang there is really no paved road and we had to rent a taxi. Well, the car we got was a euro car, right side steering wheel and i was the passenger. The thing about driving in cambodia though is there are no rules and you pass people on the left like crazy.... problem is... THE DRIVER IS ON THE RIGHT. Added with the rain pouring down so the windshield, which was cracked so you can't see, and then cars coming at me... i decided to do the one thing i know best.. no not pray.... sleep... and boy did i ever... but i didn't recline my chair and i had gum in my mouth... end result.. my shirt wasn't just wet from sweat... yes... i felt like a 3 year old without a bib.

When I woke up, my mouth was so parched and I felt so lost... I think the driver saw me with my head slumped over and probably though I was "special" I didn't really speak a single word so maybe I was mute.

Man, it's hot, and my Final Fantasy Crisis Core is calling me. When I get some time I'll post pics and inform you more about my other experiences.. Especially my second encounter with whiskey that I lost.

Until then. Pray for me.

BTW, it's really annoying when random girls (with some scary grills) check you out and then guys do as well. Anyhow. I'm out!

Cultural Differences

Oh my hell. Yes, I didn't use (expletive delete) or (insert expletive) the word is totally justified in this case. I don't know entirely what to say to convey my emotions but I thought the cultural differences I have with Cambodia would come much later. Yes, I am still considered a practicing monk and two, life always gets interesting for me when I get angry. In my past trips to Cambodia, it's always happened that I am put in a situation where I need to choose between what I practice and what I don't. I've been to soft-burlesque houses of massage, I've been in other religious services, I've grown up in a family full of different religions, associations and ideas. So it comes to no surprise then that often when I meet these occasions I have a way of reacting to it, but would rather not have to be in those situations to begin. So the story today? Bridge a gap, strengthen a bond and do things I don't usually like to do anymore: Party at the Club.

 

You need to understand that Cambodia is very much into western culture and it's similar to the world many consider outside Utah. But imagine those ideals and the imbalance of monetary value and life and you have an idea of how prevalent the ideas of the west are. Well sufficeth to say, it came down to club or karaoke bar, when I say club I mean bar and when I say karaoke bar I say what you think it is. Nevertheless no one chooses and we go to the Playaz Club (which by the way is really nice, but had a surprise picture on the wall that made me realize why I don't like beached whales. So that party dies down and everyone has their drinks. My favorite was the test tube margaritas that looked as if you had drawn blood from the radioactive swamp thing. Well off to Mr C's something and lo. I will say this in Cambodian and for those who are interested can ask me in e-mail or person. Why on earth "mian manuh kadoy dael ceh niyiay hauy tvei ompeu ckuart. Aaeng kung meen teen dael bong mom mian puak mak dael bondal ?aoy broprut ompeu taok tiab" So basically I break a fight in the club, yes, Mr. Peng me. And this isn't any club, it's a really cool and hip and even has a young lad waiting by the restroom to turn on the faucet and give you towels, no joke. Anyhow, as you my friends know I don't drink, often and you can drink all you want around me but you won't get me to budge but I ain't gonna hate on you if you do. Well after two of three of us succumb to peer pressure things get a little tipsy and that's just me! I show this Cambodian chicka that the Mormon allure is strong and any girl I snae isn't the one that snae's me. We dance, I bust my groove and the girls look on then a fight breaks and I'm pulling people off each other… yeesh… Could I get any angrier? So that's my first day and I still haven't even been able to post these blogs. We leave for the beach tomorrow and I just pray that I will continue to just figure things out and stay true to the individual I am. Wish me luck.

Arrival

The time has come! I am finally here and holy (insert profanity) it's (insert profanity) hot! I went from sitting in a nice 70 degree airplane to 100% humidity and being drenched in sweat and it's not just sweat in the pits, but sweat in the shirts, the hair, the pants… yuck. But sitting here in this slightly air-conditioned house amidst fresh Cambodian catfish, pungent stew, fresh ground corn mash (It has coconut), and also Cambodian noodle soup I'm feeling the element. And my cousin Ponluu ( It means light and it's pronounced Banloo) watching him adore the Nerf Gun I bought him is the cutest thing. Is it just me or are kids who speak a foreign or have an accent the cutest thing in the world! I can't get over the fact my cousin speaks better than me. So here's my conundrum: Should I go clubbing in the transvestite capital of Cambodia or go to the "special" massage parlor? Either way I think my WASP ethics will be trumped by my ghetto, Cambodian, Buddhist ways. So it just hit, food coma, but everyone wants to go walking around. So until then I'll catch ya'll later. I will need to take a before and after picture.

Cramps, Dim Sum, Mech Warriors and Asian Buffet

Well I must say that was one terrible plane ride. For those of you who can only imagine, imagine this; Hundreds of people on a cramped plane. Babies, kids, old folks and sickly folks, put them all in one small compartment and then add a lack of air circulation, small-ass (lol literally) bathrooms and no leg room and then you have my flight. Oh! And add the fact we had deluxe, one step below first, so it was better than we could have hoped, then imagine that you are traveling for almost 15 hours. If I was claustrophobic I'd be screwed. The only saving grace of the flight are the wonderful flight attendants. You can tell that Asia knows what it's doing. People don't want to travel across the ocean for almost a day with ugly people waiting on you hand and foot. Nope, the pride of Taiwan, of Asia politely and efficiently serves you warm food and any amenity you can think of. Lucky for me! (Except I keep forget, I'm wearing my wedding ring.) So we finally arrive in Taiwan and I feel like I've just exited a box. One plus, the food in this airport is the shiznit as they say where I'm from. We had dim sum (traditional Chinese breakfast/brunch finger foods) and the dumplings and steamed buns were to die for! About 7 bucks a pop to die for and water for 4$? Well good thing I saved up for just the occasion. OOH! So I saw something that Tracee would enjoy incredibly! Just check out the picture below. As you know us Asians are so into mecha and techa AKA transformers! As we get ready to ride the plane to our final destination I look outside and realize that it's raining terribly. The entire plane ride I had a myriad of thoughts go through my head and perhaps it's truer than ever that this is my spirit sojourn that I've been in so need of. BTW, I'm seated right next to all those flight attendants and they are either looking at me bobbing my head to this tite jam (I'm black) or my enormous bling. (no pun) Until we get to Cambodia I'm ready to sleep. Thanks for reading. I'll see you next time! Wait. Wow another cutie just walked by me. I feel like I'm at an Asian Buffet*

*Note: All sexist and showbanistic remarks are in jest.

My competition for the flight attendants just arrived. Dirty pilots and their flimsy hats and terrible teeth!

Journey across the Pacific

Well that flight from Utah took way too long. I had simply the greatest seat with the best view... Last seat in the back (right by the engines, I think I still hear that humming) and you can barely catch the beautiful sky. Our flight was filled to the brim with Mormon Missionaries. Although I didn't really talk to them, I simply said, "Hello Elders and Good Luck" They suddenly replied "It was nice meeting you." WTH? (That's utah for what the heck) When did we meet? The pre-mortal? But seriously, it reminded me of when I was going out to Boston and back. Oh the memories! I've also decided that I enjoy wearing a wedding ring, albeit someone else's. Don't worry ladies, I'm not on the prowl. It's merely the fact that I like sporting this massive, massive bling. I think I just because wordly. I'm sure going to this third world country will humble the pride out of me. I ain't Lion. (get it? Pride, Lions. haha!)

Waiting Games

So I figured out how to post pictures and so I decided to post this one! Yes that's me, blogging as we speak. I got a scare just now as I signed up for the internet for the next 24 hours ( a bloody 7.95!) but since we'll be in LA until 1:30 AM! I figure the net will be awesome. You can tell in the picture that I'm really concentrating and contrary to those who don't think I can focus on one thing at a time...ahem Tracee... this picture is staged... so you are correct.

Anyhow. That picture of me holding the cash, yes those are onezies! In Cambodia it's easier to do transactions in smaller units. About 4000 riel convert to 1 dollar. To give you an idea of what you can buy, a bowl of Pho here in the states is about 6 dollars. In Cambodia it's anywhere from .25 cents to a dollar. Most Cambodians make about 35 Dollars a month! So using these onezies makes me feel rich!

For those of you wearing your contacts you'll notice a small shimmer on my finger... Okay let's be honest, it's a huge glow! I think I need to wear sunglasses to look at that bling. I'm transporting some heavy bling for the sake of making it better and more ornate. I feel like the guy in the movie who has a suitcase full of money he's trying to smuggle out of the states. So important that he handcuffs it to his hand so no one can take it. Until that is, the ninjas slice his hand off!

With that I end. Peace!

My First Foray

Well it's official. I am a blogger. What that means is beyond me. I write these words to express myself for those who know me and those who may come to a conclusion of my character. I will primarily use this as an instrument, as a medium, a forum of my experiences while I rediscover myself and my heritage. I hope that the following words will bear sincerity and honesty.

With best regards,
Lim