What Matters Most

(This is an old blog I never posted, enjoy)

 

So it's been a few days since I've blogged and I do apologize for those faithful readers (all three of you) nevertheless there is a lot that has happened since I've last written. I'll begin with the thoughts that are on my mind at this time.

So we went to Kompong Saom (also known as Sihanoukville) the beach resort city( this was before we came back to the club experience!). Once again the ride was phenemonal. I think I am getting used to long car rides. Going to lake powell so often helps me on many occasions ride for long durations but when you do it over and over again and then you further that by fearing for your life in a country with no traffic laws and many, many close calls it tires you out. So anyhow, we get to the beach and it's yet another tiresome affair with those we travel with. Family is family (what does that mean?) but you can only do so much until you go crazy as was the case with the car ride. But I must say the beach was beautiful, the sand pristine and the tourist many. We arrived at our hotel and did the usual; eat. There are more barang (*Cambodian for French, but used to denote any white folks) Well there are tons of them and few of us. It's funny when you feel like a minority in a place where you are the majority, but as is the case for me in Mormon Utah so I shouldn't feel any less. WE get settled in and then we go riding. We rent a couple of bikes (motorcycles) and boy is it fun, riding along the beach, basking in the sun, getting darker and darker so great! But aside from all the wonderful weather and the fun sunny times I spent most of my trip there not at the beach ( I have a third degree burn which is now looking pretty bad and infected) but in the hotel room with my nephew. I know I've gone off on how amazing he is, but a few times during our stay there I would just lay beside him, tapping his side to help him fall asleep and other times just playing with him and laughing and goofing off to make him smile. Coming on this trip I realized I'd come to many conclusions about where my life is really headed and the things I have which are valuable. Most important is of course, my family and what the future holds in starting my own. I realize now that the love you (here comes the sap from the lim) you have with your family and the closeness is something that really be matched until you're put in a situation where you are the primary caregiver. Spending all this time with my nephew and seeing the indescribable love my mother and father have for their grandson makes me feel the same gratitude and desires to raise a family with care and with goals. Even amidst the usual family bickering I am so eternally grateful and indebted to the family I've been given, although we are dysfunctional as most, if not so. And we have our vices and our strange foibles, who I am is directly tied to where I come from and I'm proud of it and the perspective it provides.

 

At this time I'm in Siem Riep for a quick trip to the Angkor Temple ruins. If you're not very familiar with these temples, it's the largest religious complex in the world, yes even bigger than temple square. We're only here for a short time, about 2 days, but it's time well spent. Something about seeing, touching, and learning about these ruins which date back to the 4^th Century CE make me proud of my heritage and also aware of the encroachment by the outside world on such a pristine place. We climbed up a mountain to reach one temple fortress called Phnom Bakeng and the view from the top across the tree line and clouds was so surreal. It was like someone took god's easel and painted a slew of scenes for my personal enjoyment. Even thought I sweat like a horse (do horses sweat?) I've finally grown acclimated to the climate and just am soaking up the life. I'm tired right now, as it's about midnight and tomorrow we'll go to the King's playground, the land of 1000 lingas ( if you're wondering what lingas are, it's the royal term for the kings, ahem you know…. But there is a waterfall (of which I can't swim to now that my leg is messed up) and just tons of cool things.

 

The other day we went to the killing fields. As often as I've been to Cambodia, this is one place I haven't been. The killing fields are what the name states, a place where prisoners and Cambodians during the khmer rouge communist takeover, mass executive in the same aggressiveness as the concentration camps in Europe. It was a humbling experience to see massive holes in the ground grown over with grass that was once the site of mass graves. Now in the center of this somber place is a pagoda, filled with the skulls of those who were buried there. I would explain more about the atttroicties, the things these hideous people did to their fellow countrymen, but the mere thought, the mere remembrance scares me and breaks my heart. If you want fear, the evil that men do is beyond any conception of horror Hollywood can come up with. The realities of war are so apparent here that it has almost numbed me to whatever ills I encounter in my privileged life.

 

We head out to Battabang soon to do our religious ceremonies. I really hope I can post this blog soon as I've come to miss many of you back home. I'm sure life continues on for you all as normal and my travels are but a moment and event that is just a blip on your mind, but know I carry with me thoughts and prayers about many who I long to see and hear laugh. I'm learning a lot of my life and myself and I hope that the experiences I have here will only further strengthen me and make me a better person than I am. Until next time. Adieu